Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sorrow for Joy - Spiritual Sundays

"Maidens will dance and be glad."

“Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13
I want to have the freedom to record the realities of my life, to remove the mask and open myself up to at least myself and also to God. But that is a pretty scary proposition. People, even the church, can be so judgemental and unforgiving and eager to gossip, that it makes me want to just curl up into a ball and ignore the outside world. I need a safe place to be me and to share my struggles. I wonder if others feel the same way.

In many ways, because of all the hurt and dysfunction in my growing up years, and in my subsequent  adult life, I have a heart for the hurting and can be very accepting of the hurting and the downtrodden. This is a blessing. But the curse that often comes along with that is the propensity to be easily hurt by others. And I can often be quite judgmental of those who have, or pretend to have, it all together. I am also quite judgmental and harsh on myself, accepting too much responsibility for what happens and kicking myself when things don't turn out perfectly.

Ughhh....this is the "me" I have come to know. I am trying to learn to trust in God's love for me without condition or performance. I have it in my head - now to get it transferred to my brain.

Hopefully, someday I'll be able to take off the mask.......

I am linking up with Spiritual Sundays today. You can stop by the site and check out other posts for today. 


Rostrose said...

So perhaps you start with dancing?
Sometimes it is better to "go the way from the other side" ... dance, forget sorrow and gossip and feel yourself, feel the love and joy... (I learnt Oriental Dance lots of years ago, it made me feel free and is healthy, too. I am no great dancer, but it makes me happy. That's enough for me...)
And sometimes it's okay to wear a mask :o)
Hugs, Traude

Charlotte said...

I think that taking our masks off and being who we really are is a problem for just about everybody at some point. For some it is a lifetime problem. Thank you for sharing your heart. Let's all start dancing (Maybe just figuratively) and hopefully we will be less judgmental of others and not worry about how others are judging us. Maybe if we are less judgmental, it will rub off on others and they will follow. We need to remember we are lights in this dark world.

Whidbey Woman said...

Thank you for such an insightful and honest post. I think we all have moments when we dance, when we are glad. We have moments when we don't. We have moments that we reach out to others and times we hide behind a mask. But God loves us unconditionally-- for who we are. That is so comforting and should be a reason to live joyously! Have a good week.

sarah said...

great honest post and I can so relate...Hey...I'm in your corner and believing for the mask to come off and for you to shine....Sarah

Ginger~~Enchanting Cottage said...

Like you It is hard for me sometimes to take of the mask.Although I find myself staying home from church sometimes just because I don't want to put the mask on.Thank-you for sharing this honest post with us.I have been gone and I' just now getting to read all the S.S post. I'm glad you posted this.
God Bless,

Jingle said...

simply amazing!choms

Loveleng said...

I was kind like this one touches my feeling because just like me sometimes i want to go inside the ball specially when i was hurt so badly...nice post more blessings

love and hugs